How to make a winning impression in seven seconds

By Greg Dardis/Consulting

We form an impression of someone within seven seconds of meeting.

During that time, about as long as it takes a punter to kick a field goal, we gather a variety of verbal and non-verbal cues that bring us to a conclusion: likable or off-putting, professional or amateurish, confident or insecure, leader or follower.

My work is in executive coaching, how to convey a leadership presence and reflect your best self, speaking as clearly as you think. This is not a predetermined skill set; it is eminently coachable. I’ve counseled business professionals for more than 15 years, but it never ceases to amaze me how dramatically their presentation skills can advance with proper practice. And it all begins in those first seven seconds, where a handful of small, seemingly simple measures make a big difference.

First, you must look the part. A leader looks presentable, wearing an outfit that’s pressed, buttoned down and well-fitted. His hands and nails are clean, his shoes are polished. Her hair is tidy and her makeup is reasonable — a little enhances, too much detracts. Our eyes scan all these details within a few seconds and, for better or worse, we read into them. It’s hard to take someone seriously who looks like he’s wearing his dad’s suit.

Second, smile. A bright, genuine smile expresses a wonderful blend of confidence and appreciation, generating positive feelings that can powerfully inform someone’s first impression of you.

Third, pair that smile with direct eye contact to establish a connection and convey honesty. There’s a fine line between staring someone down and being shifty-eyed, so aim for a comfortable middle ground.

Fourth, offer a firm handshake. It’s easy to overlook the power of a handshake because we’ve done it a million times, but this indispensable step involves physical contact, reflects confidence and speaks its own greeting. Don’t be lax.

Lastly, remember the sweetest sound in the world is a person’s name, so try to repeat it once or twice over the course of your first exchange. “It’s great to meet you, Steve,” is a simple way to help you remember a new name and make Steve feel good that you’ve paid attention to him as a person. And if you didn’t catch it – Christine or Christina? – ask for the name again. You won’t be hired by someone whose name you’ve mistaken. Score points by taking the extra moment to get it right.

I was 22 when I began working in executive coaching. My employer had never hired anyone younger than 45. I often felt like dying my hair to look older and more experienced. I was the young buck who had the gall to critique professionals three times my age.

However, these basics opened the door for me: looking professional, smiling, making direct eye contact, offering a firm handshake and repeating a person’s name. In conversation, I would strive to be passionate and authentic. I made a good first impression that led to a second meeting and a third, forging lasting relationships and providing valuable lessons.

Dardis Communications, which started 12 years ago, helps Iowans develop three competencies: presentation skills, professional image and selling skills and I’m compelled to pass on what I’ve learned. This column is the perfect vehicle to do that.

You’re busy enough that I won’t waste your time on fluff or theory. I’ll cut to the chase with practical tips you can apply immediately. We’ll break down what a leadership presence entails. We’ll look at the roles of eye contact, body position, facial expressions, volume, pace, inflection and word choice.

Eventually, you’ll make the kind of first impression that reveals the best and brightest version of you, the one your biggest advocate sees. And then – who knows? – maybe the stranger at the other end of your handshake will become your biggest advocate.